An American expat living in the UK has shared his confusion over British train etiquette, admitting he wasn't sure if he was doing something "wrong" during a packed Birmingham journey. The man, known as @kjordyy on TikTok, travels across the country rating UK cities and experiencing British culture. He expressed his affection for life in the UK but acknowledged being baffled by one particular cultural aspect: the British tendency to be "overpolite." He noted that the UK's "huge apologising culture" is "no secret."
Packed Train from Birmingham to London
The confusion became particularly apparent during a recent rail journey. The content creator recounted: "I was on a super-packed train from Birmingham to London, and every single seat was taken except for one right next to me." He described an older gentleman who boarded the train and kept looking at him. "It's not my job to tell you to come and sit. If he wants to sit, he's a grown man; he can come sit. He would even look at me and then look away. His wife had found a seat and was kinda looking at me like I was doing something wrong, but in reality, he could've easily just sat next to me."
Recognising his American background, he admitted it can be "hard to judge" certain scenarios given the stark cultural contrasts. He added: "I don't know whether he's actually being too polite, maybe he's not too fond of me, or, it just doesn't make sense."
Brits Weigh In on Etiquette
Fellow Brits were on hand to shed some light on the situation. One commenter said: "I think he wanted you to give up your seat so he and his wife could sit together." While @kjordyy responded: "Why didn't he ask?" Another user weighed in: "Because you might tell him to eff off, he was hoping you would 'have some consideration' and offer. It's an old-fashioned concept, culturally dying out now as we become more individualistic, like Americans. Back in the day, we were taught to offer our seats to the elderly, infirm and pregnant."
A further commenter chipped in: "You were totally right to do what you did. He could've asked. However, a great gesture and display of kindness, which would be appreciated by the strangers, is to say, 'Would you like to sit together?' and offer your seat. You saw they were together and you're travelling solo (I assume from the empty seat), so it would make it easier on them. I assume the guy staring at you would've liked this. I do this sometimes, but it's all dependent on the situation, and only you and they will know. The old guy staring isn't on, though. However, if they were quite elderly, it's just good manners to offer your seat to older people. It's a tricky and subtle one to find the right balance and the right thing to do here."
According to @kjordyy, the experience left him questioning British social norms. The incident highlights the cultural differences between American directness and British indirectness, where unspoken expectations often replace explicit requests.
