A 53-year-old woman has opened up about how she 'forgot' to have children, only realising when she felt it was too late. Nadiya Bekar, an aesthetic practitioner from central London, says the festive season highlights a sense of loneliness she doesn't often feel for the rest of the year.
A Life of Ambition and Party
Nadiya attributes her situation to a life dedicated to her career, socialising, and a series of unfortunate romantic relationships. 'In my 20s and 30s I was working hard, partying hard - we were all like that,' she explained. She was immersed in a fast-paced London lifestyle, meeting interesting people, with little time to contemplate starting a family.
She also pointed to her choice in partners as a key factor. 'I have had a bad string of exes,' Nadiya said. 'Part of the reason I never had kids was there was no man I would trust to have my kids.' She clarified she doesn't blame men, taking responsibility for her own 'questionable choices' in relationships where a family-focused future was never a consideration.
The Festive Realisation and Shared Experience
The full weight of her life choices struck her as she approached 50, particularly around family-centric times like Christmas. 'I realised one day my parents are getting old, my siblings are moving away,' she said. 'That - especially at Christmas - makes you feel really excluded.' Despite being invited to celebrations, she misses having her own family base.
After sharing her feelings in a video on Instagram and TikTok, she was met with an outpouring of support. 'I have had so many comments back from women who have also worked and not bought into the family life and they feel heard - I feel heard,' Nadiya stated. She believes many women of her generation, part of the 'girl boss' era that encouraged professional focus, are now experiencing similar feelings of isolation, especially during the menopause.
No Regrets, But Seasonal Longing
Nadiya is clear that she does not regret her life for most of the year and is proud of her achievements, including building a business and paying off a mortgage in central London. She also has her sausage dog, Chilli, whom she describes as her 'fur baby'.
'It is just Christmas and Easter I feel like this,' she admitted. A comment from another woman helped put things in perspective: if she only craves children for two days a year, it's perhaps for the best she didn't have them. While she sometimes wishes for a family of her own to share the season with, she wouldn't turn back the clock.
She has ruled out becoming a single mother or adopting, feeling it wouldn't be fair to expect a child to fill an emotional gap. Her story coincides with broader social trends. According to The Institute for Fiscal Studies, the employment rate for women aged 25-54 rose from 57% in 1975 to a record 78% in 2017, with fewer women marrying and more prioritising careers.
