A parenting coach and former teacher is urging schools to abolish 'good attendance' awards and introduce mental health days for primary school children, warning that current practices risk causing severe burnout in pupils as young as five.
The case against compulsory attendance
Abi Clarke, 34, from Bury St Edmunds in Suffolk, believes forcing children to attend school when they are unwell or struggling mentally can be deeply detrimental. The mum-of-two, who runs the parent mentoring service SparkGuideGrow, insists parents should not tell a child they MUST go to school, especially when they are visibly distressed.
She argues that the common practice of awarding certificates for 100% attendance pushes children to ignore their physical and mental wellbeing, and then rewards them for doing so. "It can be very detrimental," Clarke stated, reflecting on her own childhood experience of being told to attend no matter what. "I was a kid who grew up being told they had to go to school no matter what, and now I don't know what it feels like to rest."
Recognising the signs of burnout in children
Clarke highlights that signs of burnout in young children can often be missed. These indicators include:
- Excessive compliance and indifference.
- Losing interest in former hobbies.
- Resisting bedtime or missing breakfast.
- Emotional outbursts.
She explains that many children, particularly neurodivergent pupils, can become exhausted from spending a full day 'masking' their difficulties. Her eight-year-old daughter Emily, who has suspected dyslexia and ADHD, is a case in point. Clarke maintains that a stressed brain cannot learn effectively, and that parents should trust their instincts when a child genuinely needs time off.
A proposed system for mental health days
The parenting expert proposes a concrete solution: allowing primary school pupils one authorised mental health day per term. These absences would be logged as authorised, ensuring no punishment for the child or family. "Attendance awards should be removed and children should be allowed mental health days," she asserts.
Clarke acknowledges that schools have a duty to report attendance figures to the government, but believes this creates undue pressure. She counters fears that children would exploit the system, stating, "Generally children want to do well in school - and we all want our kids to be happy at the end of the day." The aim, she says, is to help those with emotion-based school avoidance before they reach crisis point.
Addressing concerns about resilience, Clarke argues that resilience can be built "using a softer approach." She challenges societal norms, commenting, "As a society, we do things to children that we'd never do to our best friend or grandma... But they're still human beings with thoughts and feelings." She points out the double standard where a child not wanting to go home would raise safeguarding alarms, but not wanting to go to school is often dismissed as bad behaviour.
